Finding Your Artistic Identity

Consider the following question: what is the purpose of having masterful skills at the piano? And what is the purpose for an audience to listen to you? These are two fundamental questions to answer. The answers need to be concrete and genuinely felt. This is your why.

Without this clarity, no matter how skillful you become, if your work is directed toward a false idea of yourself, you will continue to feel like an imposter.

This is about a sequence of questions to explore:

• What do you want to say through music?
• What do you do naturally well when you play?
• How do you want your audience to see you?
• Which music genuinely resonates with who you are?
• Which audience resonates with the music that reflects who you truly are?

As long as you continue pretending—especially to yourself about who you are—you will not be able to find the right people. And achieving anything through pretense requires far more effort. It moves you away from those who would naturally recognize you and would not reject you.

There is a clear distinction between two fundamental states: love and fear. Love is present when you can relax into yourself and sense, without effort, that you are fundamentally okay—nothing needs to be proven or defended. Fear appears when performance or evaluation evokes competition and insecurity—when the underlying message becomes, “I am not enough.”

From this, several decisions follow.

• First, what do you want your audience to feel—and what do you want to feel yourself while playing?
• Second, are they coming to share appreciation and connection—a celebration of what you offer—or are they seeking validation of their own worth through judgment and comparison?
• Third, which kind of audience is aligned with love rather than fear?
• And finally, what music would that audience wish to hear?

Resistance to your chosen self-image often remains rooted in early survival beliefs, such as, “My parents will not love me if I do not achieve,” or “If I do not prove myself and earn approval, then what am I? Nothing.” Beliefs of this kind are often among the most difficult to release.

You may instead choose something simpler—perhaps something that once genuinely helped you survive. It may be as simple as love or freedom. Yet even after choosing it consciously, some resistance may still remain. This is a natural part of the process.

Reflect on the following question until it becomes clear:

Why am I not okay?

It may never be possible to answer this fully, because the belief itself often originated in someone else’s idea rather than your own.

Many beliefs about success, being good enough, or being accepted are adopted from others without first being examined.

Ask yourself:

• Does this truly suit me?
• Did the person who gave me this idea have my deepest interests in mind?
• Or is this simply someone else’s image of who I should be—an image that serves them rather than me?

As these beliefs become easier to recognize as borrowed rather than your own, they can gradually begin to lose their influence. You may find it helpful to visualize fireworks, an explosion, burning pages, or thoughts dispersing into mist. The particular image does not matter. Any inner gesture that helps these ideas lose their weight is enough.

Afterward, return to your own truth—your chosen desire and your own image of yourself, rather than the image others expect—and continue with the next exercise.

Choosing Your Reality →